Posts tagged ‘humour’

June 30, 2020

Hot III

by Jem Croucher

I thought I’d write a poem
but my pen was really hot
I’d left it out in sunshine
so the poem it was not
At least for just a while
til the pen it had cooled down
then I could write the words
on this page without a frown

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June 22, 2020

The piggies on the hill

by Jem Croucher

The free range pigs
up on the hill
honk a bit
as pigs they will
Yet strangely
in a little bit
you’ll find that
you are used to it
Just as well
as past first stile
their habitat
goes on for miles

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May 13, 2020

Bee

by Jem Croucher

A bumble bee came buzzing
in my garden for a while
he buzzed around the laurel tree
and paused to bring a smile

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May 10, 2020

Little tree gone

by Jem Croucher

We had a tree growing
out of the front wall
which I’m sorry to say had to go
For though it was fine
its roots had entwined
and had threatened the wall, don’t you know

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February 28, 2020

Ditchling Down

by Jem Croucher

Ditchling Down
the path so steep
and us all slippy-sliding
In squelchy mud
unbalanced from
the frigid winds all hiding

Ditchling Down
with Weald below
the distant view confiding
as we struggle
down the gradient
quite often all colliding

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February 6, 2020

Owning the cone

by Jem Croucher

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
was feeling a bit glum
He had to wear the ‘cone of shame’
for stitches in his bum
It wasn’t very comfortable
and he wasn’t all that sure
why he was made to wear it
and what it all was for

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January 28, 2020

Of pizzas and pubs

by Jem Croucher

And so it is to Bradford
on another winter night
I find myself at Noble Comb
with time to sit and write
It’s fairly packed this evening
with families eating out
and workers sharing pints of beer
their voices raised to shout

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December 12, 2019

Raining

by Jem Croucher

In was raining down in Shoreham
and in Sussex as we passed
with rain up into Surrey
by its leave but never asked

It was pouring down in London
with umbrellas everywhere
and as we headed northward
there was no let up there

There was rain in the Home Counties
and very wet outside
and rain into Northamptonshire
as if the world had cried

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September 29, 2019

Poetic Licence

by Jem Croucher

And here I am again
with a pint at Ye Olde Trippe
Waxing lyrical I write
as rain goes ‘drip, drip, drip’
Poetic license there you say
well yes, I quite agree
but as it rhymes I added it
with (I’ll admit) a ‘tee tee hee’

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June 16, 2019

Time and the starlet

by The Cheesesellers Wife

Deep in space-time, she awakes
throws off her mantle of gas

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February 5, 2019

They must be laughing

by Jem Croucher

They must be laughing up in Norway
or in Canada you know
at the fuss we make in England
when we have a little snow

Sides they must be splitting
Out in Russia, Moscow way
as our headlines speak of chaos
caused by snow that fell today

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December 24, 2018

Robin in the fig tree

by The Cheesesellers Wife

What are the words?
Bright, cheery red, bob-bob-bobbing?

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December 22, 2018

Lightly seared on the reality grill

by The Cheesesellers Wife

Lightly seared on the reality grill
falling outside

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November 18, 2018

Out of Sync

by Jem Croucher

Winter throws me out of sync
and I’m not sure where I am
I’m so used to the warmth you see
that I’m not sure that I can

And yet when in my brand new coat
with colours bold and strong
I’m brave enough to face the cold
and find a different song

read more »

November 4, 2018

Converse

by Jem Croucher

I’ve been partial to ‘Chuck Connors’
since I was a lad
And mostly you will find me
with my feet in Converse clad

I have many different colours
Yellow, blue and pink
The oldest ones I had for years
Forty plus I think

I have ones I got on eBay
which I know are very rare
And some which are so vibrant
that folk will stop and stare

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October 22, 2018

The Bull

by Jem Croucher

Went for a walk up on Mill Hill
and met some scary sheep
But although we had due warning
it was the bull that made us weep

For he was really jolly big
as nervously we trod
around him fairly gingerly
on Sussex chalkland sod

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September 4, 2018

Bar’s absent castle

by Jem Croucher

3 of 16 in the Jemverse ‘Venetian Vistas’ series

Apparently there’s a castle
in Montenegro’s Bar
“Ten minutes walk” the tour guide said
“It’s really not that far”

But we could find no trace of it
It simply wasn’t there
even though we had a map
and looked ‘most everywhere

read more »

July 20, 2018

Friday afternoons

by Jem Croucher

Friday afternoons are great
‘Cos I don’t have to work too late
I’ll aim to finish at Midday
the weekend starts, Hip Hip Hooray!

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July 14, 2018

Horse in the water

by Jem Croucher

Horse on the beach
with his hooves in the water
Well, why not, I thought
in this weather he oughta
‘Cos if people can paddle
then why not a horse
No reason to think of
and just right of course

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June 22, 2018

Digging Weeds

by Jem Croucher

Digging weeds
is hard and hot
and our allotment
has a lot
But it’s rewarding
when we see
things we’ve planted
growing free

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May 9, 2018

At last the sunshine

by Jem Croucher

And at last the sunshine
deigned to appear
We were starting to wonder
and (dare I say) fear
that winter would stay and
well into summer
which would have been really
a bit of a bummer

read more »

March 6, 2018

Small dogs and the cold stuff

by Jem Croucher

On the ground out the back
by the door in the snow
paw prints out there
with some evidence show
that although I’m uncertain
of the white stuff out there
I’ve been brave and I’ve ventured
outside for a dare

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February 20, 2018

Two little pigeons

by Jem Croucher

Two little pigeons
after some food
I’ve got a flat white
don’t mean to be rude
But no little morsels
have I to give you
so away pesky pigeons
‘Be off with you. Shoo!’

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February 19, 2018

A little chap and the cat-flap

by Jem Croucher

It’s really quite an awkward thing
when just a little chap
and I’ve never understood the art
of pushing the cat-flap

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February 12, 2018

Basil’s Story

by Jem Croucher

I’m old and I’m senile
and my hearing has gone
I’ve seen fifteen years
and this is my song

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February 11, 2018

Obi’s Story

by Jem Croucher

There was a leaf and I barked
and a plastic bag
and something that moved
so I gave it a wag

There were birds and squirrels
and cats with strange tails
and foxes and slugs
and bees and yes, snails

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February 9, 2018

Graduation II

by Jem Croucher

We’re on a train to London
all the girls and me
for another graduation
this time for Emily

We’ve goodies in a goody bag
and flat whites – good to go
that, and conversation
which we’ll always have you know

read more »

January 4, 2018

Someone said it’s Thursday

by Jem Croucher

Someone said it’s Thursday
Well that’s just fine by me
‘Cos it means I’ve still got several days
in actuality
And Christmas is notorious
for loosing track of time
I’ve no idea what hour it is
But really, that’s just fine

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