Posts tagged ‘humour’

September 29, 2019

Poetic Licence

by Jem Croucher

And here I am again
with a pint at Ye Olde Trippe
Waxing lyrical I write
as rain goes ‘drip, drip, drip’
Poetic license there you say
well yes, I quite agree
but as it rhymes I added it
with (I’ll admit) a ‘tee tee hee’

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June 16, 2019

Time and the starlet

by The Cheesesellers Wife

Deep in space-time, she awakes
throws off her mantle of gas

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February 5, 2019

They must be laughing

by Jem Croucher

They must be laughing up in Norway
or in Canada you know
at the fuss we make in England
when we have a little snow

Sides they must be splitting
Out in Russia, Moscow way
as our headlines speak of chaos
caused by snow that fell today

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December 24, 2018

Robin in the fig tree

by The Cheesesellers Wife

What are the words?
Bright, cheery red, bob-bob-bobbing?

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December 22, 2018

Lightly seared on the reality grill

by The Cheesesellers Wife

Lightly seared on the reality grill
falling outside

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November 18, 2018

Out of Sync

by Jem Croucher

Winter throws me out of sync
and I’m not sure where I am
I’m so used to the warmth you see
that I’m not sure that I can

And yet when in my brand new coat
with colours bold and strong
I’m brave enough to face the cold
and find a different song

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November 4, 2018

Converse

by Jem Croucher

I’ve been partial to ‘Chuck Connors’
since I was a lad
And mostly you will find me
with my feet in Converse clad

I have many different colours
Yellow, blue and pink
The oldest ones I had for years
Forty plus I think

I have ones I got on eBay
which I know are very rare
And some which are so vibrant
that folk will stop and stare

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October 22, 2018

The Bull

by Jem Croucher

Went for a walk up on Mill Hill
and met some scary sheep
But although we had due warning
it was the bull that made us weep

For he was really jolly big
as nervously we trod
around him fairly gingerly
on Sussex chalkland sod

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September 4, 2018

Bar’s absent castle

by Jem Croucher

3 of 16 in the Jemverse ‘Venetian Vistas’ series

Apparently there’s a castle
in Montenegro’s Bar
“Ten minutes walk” the tour guide said
“It’s really not that far”

But we could find no trace of it
It simply wasn’t there
even though we had a map
and looked ‘most everywhere

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July 20, 2018

Friday afternoons

by Jem Croucher

Friday afternoons are great
‘Cos I don’t have to work too late
I’ll aim to finish at Midday
the weekend starts, Hip Hip Hooray!

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July 14, 2018

Horse in the water

by Jem Croucher

Horse on the beach
with his hooves in the water
Well, why not, I thought
in this weather he oughta
‘Cos if people can paddle
then why not a horse
No reason to think of
and just right of course

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June 22, 2018

Digging Weeds

by Jem Croucher

Digging weeds
is hard and hot
and our allotment
has a lot
But it’s rewarding
when we see
things we’ve planted
growing free

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May 9, 2018

At last the sunshine

by Jem Croucher

And at last the sunshine
deigned to appear
We were starting to wonder
and (dare I say) fear
that winter would stay and
well into summer
which would have been really
a bit of a bummer

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March 6, 2018

Small dogs and the cold stuff

by Jem Croucher

On the ground out the back
by the door in the snow
paw prints out there
with some evidence show
that although I’m uncertain
of the white stuff out there
I’ve been brave and I’ve ventured
outside for a dare

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February 20, 2018

Two little pigeons

by Jem Croucher

Two little pigeons
after some food
I’ve got a flat white
don’t mean to be rude
But no little morsels
have I to give you
so away pesky pigeons
‘Be off with you. Shoo!’

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February 19, 2018

A little chap and the cat-flap

by Jem Croucher

It’s really quite an awkward thing
when just a little chap
and I’ve never understood the art
of pushing the cat-flap

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February 12, 2018

Basil’s Story

by Jem Croucher

I’m old and I’m senile
and my hearing has gone
I’ve seen fifteen years
and this is my song

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February 11, 2018

Obi’s Story

by Jem Croucher

There was a leaf and I barked
and a plastic bag
and something that moved
so I gave it a wag

There were birds and squirrels
and cats with strange tails
and foxes and slugs
and bees and yes, snails

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February 9, 2018

Graduation II

by Jem Croucher

We’re on a train to London
all the girls and me
for another graduation
this time for Emily

We’ve goodies in a goody bag
and flat whites – good to go
that, and conversation
which we’ll always have you know

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January 4, 2018

Someone said it’s Thursday

by Jem Croucher

Someone said it’s Thursday
Well that’s just fine by me
‘Cos it means I’ve still got several days
in actuality
And Christmas is notorious
for loosing track of time
I’ve no idea what hour it is
But really, that’s just fine

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December 30, 2017

Goative Greetings

by Jem Croucher

Goat jumped up the fence at me
At Tulley’s Farm today
Bleated out a greeting
Polite, as if to say
‘Good day to you, I’m very pleased
‘You took the time to come
‘And say hello to me today
‘It’s really rather fun’

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November 20, 2017

Squirrel II

by Jem Croucher

I met a little squirrel
in St James’ park today
He stopped and looked straight up at me
I think, as if to say
That if I were to be so kind
A little titbit please
‘For I’m find it quite hard
to find my nuts amongst the leaves’

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October 21, 2017

Stuck in a crowd

by Jem Croucher

Victoria station
this morning and me
Stuck in a crowd and
waiting to see
if the gates to the tube
would anytime soon
open up to the waiting
lest one of us swoon

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July 26, 2017

Trespassers, delay and rhyme

by Jem Croucher

Waiting for a railway train
to take me to my home
I’ll sit and write a poem
on the station on my own
It’s peaceful here, conducive
to find a little rhyme
and scribble down a verse or two
line by line by line

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July 21, 2017

Lilac Lovliness

by Jem Croucher

They grow in abundance
by the railway bridge line
And their fragrance in summer
is completely divine
Their heady perfume
just intoxicates me
So I took this quick picture
for you all to see

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July 13, 2017

The Itch

by Angela Umphers Rueger

or... Why Didn’t I Think of That?

My five-year-old son got a thought in his head
One day as he sat at the foot of my bed.

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June 29, 2017

Produce (aka ‘Allotment V’)

by Jem Croucher

Imagine our amazement
when this evening on Ham Field
we discovered our allotment
had delivered its first yield
Some courgettes and a squash or two
which in the sunshine haven’t lingered
Leading us to think that we
may well be quite green-fingered!

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June 17, 2017

Outside Inside

by Abigail Gronway

Our inside output
Does not need
Your outside input

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