The dawn’s not yet broken
and I’m travelling again
on the road for one more business trip
With birds still asleep
as the night is yet deep
I tip toe up the road lest I slip
Safely asleep
Rain or shine
This town of mine
How many words?
BLACK FRIDAY CRAZY
By Charles Robert Lindholm
Black
Friday Sales
Are Absolutely Crazy
With People Dying To
Shop
Copyright © 2019 Charles Robert Lindholm
All Rights Reserved – Please Come And View My Archives!!!
First IV
Four haikus IV
‘Corrupt Carols’ (another free download)
Now that turkey day has passed behind us (or passed thru our behinds), in the mood for some twisted takes on those hideous holiday favorites?
My gift (or perhaps curse) to you for being supportive readers and followers: Corrupt Carols.
Free this Saturday and Sunday (11/30-12/1)
Wishing you a Grinchley good holiday season,
-Dan
Four haikus III
I’M THANKFUL FOR YOU!
Four haikus II
Tom Turkey’s Black Friday Rampage (conclusion)
And now, the climactic second half of Tom Turkey’s retail assail (first half here)…
The giant, pissed off turkey is in a shopping mall during Black Friday, about to enter a department store to wreak some havoc.
Flinging victims more with swinging chin sack
Tom strutted on, to serve more turkey payback.
The first to see him spritzed him with perfume,
And offered free makeover looks to bloom.
The turkey’s giant pecker soon dispatched
The girl, then spat out bones and blonde hair thatch.
The other beauty mavens quickly scattered,
Be-misted as their perfume counters shattered.
Tom, now smelling like a willing date,
Paraded aisle by aisle to decimate.
Like Waldorf salad, shoes and handbags mixed
With bathroom fittings, bargains all, deep-sixed.
Tie-clips, leather wallets, arrow shirts
Were cast amidst the junior misses skirts.
The giant gobbler came to escalator,
And mangled it to shrapnel-cluttered crater,
Then leathery wrinkle-crimpled neck upstretched,
The upper story victims now to catch.
Intimate apparel soon was flinging,
But naught of naked pleasure was it bringing.
And any who midst furniture did crouch
Were soon unhidden by a flying couch.
Rage now piquing, Tom made final stop
Destroying china in the bridal shop.
With special pleasure, angry bird now shattered
Gravy boats and matching turkey platters.
The culmination of his rampage reached,
Tom Turkey now delivered one more speech:
“I, Tom Turkey, claim T-Day as my day,
And leave to you this bloody dark Black Friday.
Those of you who manage to find rescue,
Be thankful that at least I didn’t stuff you.”
Fun aside, sincere wishes to you and yours for a fun, fulfilling holiday, and some killer sale bargains. 🙂
Four haikus I
Life
I love what I do
don’t get me wrong
I’m in quite a lovely position
As forty years done
with the grief and the fun
I enjoy in this time of transition
I put in the hours
use my mind to the full
enthusiastically driven
For the passion is there
as all are aware
from the help that I’ve often given
What of me now?
So now I am sixty
what of me now?
Do I wither, slip slowly away
Do I hold up a hand
resolute to my lot
to let youth in its turn have a say?
Far from it I cry
for I have a voice
and it’s louder than ever before
I’ve put in the years
shed blood, sweat and tears
and still I am ready for more
Mysterious
Starting to appear now
mysterious boxes
their fragrance filling the room
A promise of something
that’s getting quite close
in mid-December quite soon
What’s in the box?
my immediate question
unanswered of course for a while
The mystery continues
as excitement grows
coupled with winks and a smile
Winter III
And now the iron chill
shouts loud with brutality
as if we didn’t know it
with absolute totality
Winter’s here, no doubt of that
November takes firm hold
with battle grey the colour
reminiscent of this cold
We wrap up warm in winter coats
for what is waiting there
Resigned against the onslaught
we face the brittle air
Tom Turkey’s Black Friday Rampage
Tom Turkey deals some holiday payback on Black Friday shoppers…
With gorge-fest passed or partially digested,
The brick-and-mortar shoppers now infested,
In search of bargains on this Friday black,
A day from which not all would journey back.
The mall was crawling with the teeming rabble;
For one-day discounts each of them did scrabble.
Unnoticed came the beast with ’Zilla hobble
Til it announced itself with giant gobble:
“Behold, you gabbling swarm of gnashing monkeys!
It’s time for me to make some gravy chunky,
To dress your roasted flesh both dark and light—
For Tom the Turkey’s here to set things right.”
As wide as Starbucks, nearly twice as tall,
Stood massive, angry fowl here in the mall!
It towered high above the human din,
And giant sack hung low beneath its chin.
In deadly arc swung sack as fowl fiend spoke,
But those who saw it took it for a joke
And carried on their eager ways to shop,
Assuming Tom was but elaborate prop.
Their nonchalance The Turkey more enraged;
Now war upon the heedless crowd it waged—
A single kick from massive feathered thigh
Sent nearby swath of dorklings up to fly.
Then caravan of carts with plasma screens
The bird dispatched to shattered smithereens.
A darksome den of geeks then caught its gaze;
They would be the next the bird would raze:
“You emo tweens now swarming in Hot Topic—
Let’s put your innards in a sack canopic
And boil them pale to make my gravy broth;
A fitting consume-tion for your sloth.
“And you, in search of latest model phones,
The ones which are of last month’s model clones.
No need to sweat the overage folderol;
Your plan is done—now who you gonna call?”
The beast unleashed new feather-frenzied hell
And rent the twittering texters, cell by cell.
Any who survived now stay in touch
With bandaged cast, and roam upon a crutch.
The angry avian sought victims more,
And soon espied the main department store.
…remainder to appear on Thanksgiving Thursday.
Or get the rest free here, along with other creepy kooky holiday verse:
This weekend only (11/23-24). Also available free any time through KindleUnlimited.
Happy Creepy Holidays!
-Dan
https://rhymeintimeblog.wordpress.com
After the small hours
The small hours II
Dichotomy
Sentenced
No reason to moan
I can tell it is winter
as it’s dark when I leave
and dark when I’m on my way home
As I’m all of a quiver
with a shake and a shiver
from the cold that brings chill to the bone
It’s not a season
I will freely admit
I’d encourage or even condone
Yet there’s reason to sing
as it’s followed by Spring
so I’ve really no reason to moan