A Couple Of Limericks For National Sex Day 6-9

I was watching a program of “classic” Jewish comedians and I turned it on in the middle of a joke about one of my favorite subjects, Senior Sex, and I was riveted. When the comedian got to the punchline, I knew that I had to turn the joke into a limerick. And it led to this……

Senior Sex can be daunting when new,
So she wondered what she’d have to do.
She said, “Be honest with me.”
He replied, “Infrequently.”
And she asked, “Is that one word or two?”

Sadly, there were going to be many economic and social casualties from the pandemic – one of them being casual sex. Social distancing and sexual distancing go hand in hand, or hand in pants, as the case may be. The pandemic is going to force the players out there to get a grip. They’ll have to learn to handle it. I’m sure for most, it’s no big thing.

Hook ups ain’t what they used to be.
Now it’s really living dangerously.
Way too risky to succumb –
Now safe sex has become….
A Do It Yourself activity!

I’ve read a lot of online dating profiles. They fascinate me. To my naked eye, there are two things that women are looking for in a man – chemistry and an income greater than $100.000.00. As far as the money part goes, that’s pretty cut and dry. He’s either got it or he doesn’t. The Chemistry part has a lot more to it. Oral intercourse goes a long way. Intellectual compatibility, talking and laughing are essential to a good relationship. Those things keep the fire burning. And then there’s that other intercourse that lights the fire …..

Like thinking answers a call.
Like humor will always enthrall.
But you need satisfaction
From animal attraction
If you’re wanting to have it all!

And then there is post-marriage sex

Her nymphomania was a wet dream cum true.
You loved that she loved to screw.
But be assured
Her nymphomania will be cured
The moment that you say, “I do.”

You think with marriage, there will come a new trick.
Didn’t she take a vow she would lick?
Now that she’s M-R-S,
It’s a good guess…
She’s more concerned about her nails than your dick!

Tags: #nationalsexday, poem, poems, Poet's Corner poetry blog, poetry blog, poets, poets corner, sex