A Shakespearean Solution Limerick

There is nothng funny about the pandemic and what it has done to turn the world and the lives of everyone in it upside down. It would be impossible to write a traditional “joke” limerick with a four line setup and a fifth line punchline about it. However, I hope that I can use a touch of humor to send a serious message by slightly altering one of my best limericks where I take possibly the most famous speech in the English language and give it a Texas twist. I had to take a few liberties with the meter to get the message right

The world was riding high in the saddle,
Now, it’s up a creek with no paddle.
Tis not just nobler in the mind
To sit home on your behind…
It will make this Sea of Troubles skedaddle!

A Passover Limerick

Happy Holidays. To all my Christian friends – Happy Easter. And to all my Jewish friends – Happy Passover. Tonight the Jewish people celebrate their escape from slavery in Egypt. Like all Jewish holidays, Passover has holiday specific symbolic food. Matzo, unleavened bread, is the focal point of the Passover food and it takes great cooking skill to turn this edible cardboard into something palatable. But making it easier to go in does not make it easier to go out…..

A “Best Advice To A New Incoming College Freshman” Limerick

My Alma Mater recently asked it’s alum what would be the best advice they could give an incoming freshman student. Of course, they were asking for real, serious and valuable advice. I had some of that for them – EMBRACE THE ADVENTURE. College will be a big part of the story of your life. Make it a story that you love to tell.

A Valentine’s Day Giggle Poem

Poetry challenge: Valentines poem.

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If you’re a gentleman and can make a gal giggle,
There’s a good chance that gal will like you.

A Post-Election Limerick

The election was a test of our Democracy.
Now we’ll see what’s going to be.
This we already knew –
America is not Red or Blue….
It is Home of the Brave and the Land of the Free.

Americans voted, their voices were heard and there was change in the political landscape; now what will that change bring.

A “Your Vote Counts The Same As One Rich Person’s Vote” Limerick

I haven’t written a limerick in a long time. I had been writing political limericks during and soon after the 2016 election, but I was overwhelmed by the change in the political climate and the events that came with it. I couldn’t keep up with it. And, I felt that it might even be dangerous to continue. You never know who is reading them and keeping score.

An “As We Begin Year Two of Trump” Limerick

It has been quite a while since I wrote a political limerick. I’ve been like many other Americans, unable to suspend my disbelief that Donald Trump was elected President of the United States and hoping that I will awake from this nightmare and find that it was just a bad dream.

A Two Team Dilema Limerick

Being a sports fan can be tough. Sports has live drama unfolding before your eyes and the emotional relationship between fans and their team is amped up geometrically by that dynamic. “Fan” is from “fanatic.”

I am a sports fan. Not fanatical about my pro sports teams. Certifiable about my CLEMSON TIGERS. Ask my Ohio State friends. But this is about baseball and this years playoffs.

A “Getting Older And Wiser” Limerick

I am about to celebrate what I pray will be the first of many anniversaries with my beloved Seva. It has given cause for a little reflection and not the type that involves a mirror which I find myself now avoiding more and more.

A “Spouse Texting” Limerick

The backspace button’s a valuable tool.
It can prevent you from acting the fool.
Before you hit “send,”
It’s best to pretend…
And comply with the “spouse texting” rule!

For an instructional video – see more

A Passover Limerick

Happy Holidays. To all my Christian friends – Happy Easter. And to all my Jewish friends – Happy Passover. Tonight the Jewish people celebrate their escape from slavery in Egypt. Like all Jewish holidays, Passover has holiday specific symbolic food. Matzo, unleavened bread, is the focal point of the Passover food and it takes great cooking skill to turn this edible cardboard into something palatable. But making it easier to go in does not make it easier to go out…..

A Few “Nomination Abomination” Limericks

A United States Supreme Court Justice is appointed for life to make legal decisions regarding the constitutionality of the laws of our nation on all levels. A Supreme Court Justice is the watch guard of the ideals on which this great nation was founded. There is a responsibility to both those ideals and We The People. Those Justices have the most real power in this country as their decisions can effect hundreds of millions of people. They are Judges. They are not politicians. Their motivation is right and wrong and a promoting a higher good if it is within the parameters set by the Constitution. Their motivation is not greed or special interest. Now all that is being challenged by the politicians whose only motivation is greed and special interest. And that led to this…

A “Heavenly Healthcare Wakeup Call” Limerick

Round One of the Healthcare Fight is over. Lots of ducking and weaving, no solid blows landed. It may appear that the ACA came out of it unscathed, but remember, that was just Round One which is all about feeling out your opponent (or in Trump’s case, feeling up your opponent – sorry couldn’t resist, the metaphor just hung it out there.)

A “Real Deal To Repeal” Limerick

The recurring theme of the Trump Presidency has been, “What do we know?” We know that Trump is the lying scumbag that he basically told us he was during the campaign. It may be the only thing he didn’t lie about. He was caught on camera and tape. He just tossed it aside as insignificant as long as those easily persuaded by his hate and fear rhetoric and false promises of being a populist leader took the bait. Once he hooked them, reeled them in and won the election, America began what has been a difficult, painful process of trying to discover “What do we know?” His tweets are from The Twilight Zone. He is running a carny sideshow out of the White House. The Russian connection is real. But with regard to the extent, purpose and people involved there is still a lot of “What do we know?” still to be asked. And it is going to have a much louder voice that gains volume from the growing number of Republicans who still believe it is their sworn duty to serve the public and know that Trump does not. They know that the Republican Party is going to die a painful death if they don’t fix this fast….And that led to this……

An “Is The Tide Turning?” Limerick

Trump had a pre-election core of supporters who are white and part of a middle class that is experiencing a decline in their standard of living. They are disillusioned and frustrated by this and feel that the last eight years of government has failed them. Donald Trump represented a chance for them get back what they feel they have lost or have had taken from them. He used proven methods to appeal to their emotions. He was counting on the fact that when emotion runs high, IQ runs low and he could incite them to drop their IQ’s to a level low enough where they would overlook that he is unashamed and unapologetic for being a scumbag and vote for him. It appears that he also feels that if they were dumb enough to vote for him, they deserved what he had in store for them.

A “Game Show Budget From A Game Show Host President” Limerick

When I watched game shows growing up, the losers always went home with “a lovely parting gift.” I can picture Trump and Bannon signing off on the budget and laughing. That budget could be called “a lovely parting gift” for the old, the sick and the poor, while advancing all their Swamp Buddies to the Bonus Rounds, where they play for the real money.

A “Re-writing The Unreality TV Script” Limerick

Low approval ratings. That’s a surprise that President Trump didn’t see coming. How could he after he had such an impressive victory and crushed his opponent in the election, facts about the popular vote notwithstanding? Now his Unreality TV Presidency may be in jeopardy of being cancelled because the people who did not vote in the election and the educated middle class white women who did not want Hillary Clinton to be the first woman President are realizing what a terrible mistake they made. It was these two groups that turned the election and, hopefully, they will have the power to correct the mistake. Trump seems to have forgotten where babies come from and what the most powerful force on Earth is. You don’t mess with Mother Nature without severe consequences, which in this case will save America….And it led to this…..

A “Consumer Protection Defection” Limerick

The Consumer Protection Agency is about to become a thing of the past. Consumer Protection is in direct conflict with corporate profits. Safety, shmafety. They’ll take away a woman’s right to choose because abortion is murder, but we’ll kill the kids after they’re born by removing child safety from food, clothing, and toys. No hypocrisy there. Maybe if the Republicans can find a way to make money off of Planned Parenthood….just thinking out loud…And it led to this….

A “Repeal, Replace And Bury” Limerick

The President and his Republican henchmen in Congress are trying to keep their promise to repeal and replace Obamacare. They have run into a little snag – their constituents have realized that when they do, they are going to get screwed. And those facing re-election in 2018 are not liking the backlash which is telling them that they are vulnerable to losing their jobs and having to go back to the same real world as their constituents and deal with the consequences that the repeal will have on their own ability to have affordable healthcare for themselves. Nothing like a little equality to get them to rethink the whole thing….And that led to this….

A “Putz Putts” Limerick

I think that President Trump believed that being the President of The United States was going to be the same thing as being the CEO of his Trump businesses. In the business world that he lives in, there are more deals made on the golf course than in the board room and I believe he truly thinks that will work for him now that he is President. Negotiate a nuclear arms treaty in the snack bar over lunch after the front nine, work out a trade agreement in the men’s locker room while trading “locker room” jokes. It doesn’t quite work like that. In fact, his golfing has been the subject of intense scrutiny regarding how seriously he takes his new job. If he doesn’t get his game together real soon, he may find that America will be taking a Mulligan on the last election.

An “Advice For New Parents” Limerick

I am no expert on parenting. I have thirty five years of experience and I know that it is a continuous education, they will always be your babies and  John Lennon couldn’t have been any more right – ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE. If you approach parenthood with an open mind and an open heart, God Willing, the kids will be just fine. Of course they need to be protected from danger, educated and taught to be self reliant and taught to be respectful of their fellow man. Clearly, the Republican Congress needs a refresher course in parenting and they need to treat this country and their constituents as their children. But this is not a political post even though I couldn’t help myself with that last remark. Hopefully, this little limerick may go along way towards helping new parents just starting out and everyone else trying to cope with the dirty diapers now running this country…for now.

Russia-gate Limerick #5

Trump alleged that President Obama had a wiretap placed in Trump Tower. He has offered no proof. Just when you think that the White House can’t sink any lower, they always find a way. How long can this go on? I am beginning to think that the GOP is setting him up. They have what they wanted, the Presidency and a majority in both houses of Congress. Once they are done using him as a diversion and get their “rich get richer, poor get poorer” legislative agenda completed, they are going to toss him to the curb. I hope they enjoy their power while they have it, because we still live in a Democracy and in four years we’ll do it again and flip everything back. And all that led to this….

Russia-gate Limericks 3 & 4

His Russian connections are under attack,
And Trump responds by tweeting smack.
A minor memory lapse
And alleged wiretaps….
Yet, the GOP still has his back?!?!?

Russia-gate Limerick #2

On February 15, I wrote a post called “A First Of What I Expect To Be Many ‘Russia-gate’ Limericks.”

https://poetscornerblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/15/a-first-of-what-i-expect-to-be-many-russia-gate-limericks/

I was right. It was the first of many. And the plot has thickened considerably since February 15th. Flynn resigned, Sessions recused himself from any investigation due to his lying during his confirmation hearings. Sessions said he “forgot” and “misspoke.” Investigations are going forward and that means that Trump is breaking out the Roy Cohn/Steve Bannon playbook (which is eerily similar to the Hitler/Goebbels playbook.)

A Few “Most Surreal Seven Weeks” Limericks

Seven weeks. Wow. From Inauguration Day until today, everyday has seen controversy and confrontation from the White House which has provided the Republican Congress with a smoke screen while they pass legislation for their ultra-conservative agenda which promotes their “rich get richer, poor get poorer” ideology. And that led to this… a limerick look at the lowlights so far.

A “Reluctant Pundit” Limerick

I have been resisting and protesting Donald Trump the best way I know how – by using my limericks to bring attention to the  Un-American and Un-Democratic things that he says and does. He likes to call things “sad.” What’s sad is that we have a President intent on blowing smoke up America’s ass. As a Baby Boomer who saw how people standing up against bigotry and discrimination and then the Viet Nam War were able to bring about change, I feel it is my patriotic duty to use my voice now when I see bigotry and hate making a revival and a President who will take this country into war. But believe me, I wish my voice was being used for what God gave it to me to do with it – make people laugh and smile. Hopefully, I have been able to do both while getting my points across.

A Few “Addressing The Congressional Address” Limericks

For the first time since his inauguration, President Trump stood in front of Congress and a live television audience and looked and sounded presidential. It was encouraging for the short time that it lasted. The speech drew applause as he said the right things about rebuilding the country. The widow of the fallen Navy Seal was an emotional high point, though critics questioned Trump exploiting her.

A “Putting A Value On What The White House Is Thinking” Limerick

On Friday, President Trump addressed the CPAC Conference. In his speech, he stepped up his attack on the media and did a lot of chest thumping. After calling the media and “fake news” as enemies of the people, he vowed to deliver on all of his promises. A New York Times commentary was titled “Trump’s Blistering Speech at CPAC Follows Bannon’s Blueprint.” That is very scary, especially because it appears that Bannon is following the blueprint of the most evil person that ever lived. I shudder when I think about it…..and it led to this…..