Posts tagged ‘limericks’

May 23, 2023

Some Limericks About Getting Old…

by Rhyme In Time

Howdy! It’s been awhile. Here are some limericks on getting old…

How have I gotten so old?
Most of my days have been told.
My skeleton’s creaky,
My bladder is leaky,
And my toenails are harboring mold.

My pallid and wrinkled complexion
Stares back from the mirror’s reflection.
Where is the kid
Who could barely keep hid
The crimp of a chronic erection?

How did I get here so fast?
I was certain my vigor would last.
Now my day’s greatest bliss
Is success when I piss,
And control of the flow from my ass.

For the rest, please click here:

https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0C4MQCB4G

Advertisement
November 10, 2021

A Couple Of “Thanksgiving & Holiday Spread” Limericks 2021

by Joel Kravitz

Thanksgiving meme

An annual exercise worth repeating,
Where will power takes a beating.
It’s a day dedicated
To bellys fully dilated…
Thanksgiving’s about overeating!

read more »

August 29, 2021

A Couple Of GQP Candidate Limericks

by Joel Kravitz

GOP candidates

The GOP has become the GQP and it looks like the only change they are interested in is for the worst as demonstrated by who they keep running and electing

read more »

August 20, 2021

A Couple of “Aging” Limericks on My 69th Birthday

by Joel Kravitz

Grow old gracefully? You must be dreaming.
My Peter Pan Syndrome is teeming.
If I may be so bold,
Here’s how I’m growing old…
I’m going kicking and screaming!

read more »

December 6, 2020

More Free Kindle Downloads (thru Wednesday)

by Rhyme In Time

Greetings! For fun, here are some older efforts. They are short, quick reads.

Free to download (thru Wednesday).

Please feel free to leave a review on Amazon!

November 26, 2020

Thanksgiving Limericks for a Year That We’re Thankful Is Almost Over

by Joel Kravitz

The Thanksgiving feast is always a winner.
There’s nothing like a big turkey dinner.
Bird and sides, then dessert,
We eat ’til we hurt…
And nobody ever leaves thinner.

read more »

August 17, 2020

A Couple America Is Going To Go Postal Limericks

by Joel Kravitz

united-states-post-office-logo

There is no limit to the POTUS’s abuse of power. At what point do all of the Members of Congress fulfill their oath and defend the Constitution which has six voting rights amendments? We need the spirit of John Lewis to fill the Halls of Congress and the hearts of every American that believes in our Democracy and The American Way of Life.

read more »

May 21, 2020

A Pandemic Worst Practice Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

pandemic protestor

There are no problems that “ignore it and maybe it will go away” won’t make worse, especially health problems. I borrowed the gist of that statement from AA, which believes in admission and support as the foundation for solving the problem. Admission and support are exactly what is needed now to solve the pandemic problem. Anything other than that will only exacerbate it.

read more »

January 6, 2017

A “Restricted Bathroom Law Reality Check”Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

As anyone who has ever had a baby or an enlarged prostate knows, when you gotta go, you gotta go. And everyone else knows it too. Seriously, who hasn’t prayed that they get to a bathroom in time? I’m guessing God has a special unit of angels just to handle those prayers, they get so many every day.

read more »

November 28, 2016

Sad Wales Scales Tale

by HemmingPlay

screen-shot-2016-11-27-at-7-05-26-pm

@Hemmingplay

Hemmingplay

November 19, 2016

An “Appointments Point To An ‘Organized’ Administration” Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

I am an optimist by nature. I always try to see the good in things and a way to turn problems into opportunities. One of my catch phrases is “No mess is as bad as it looks.” I’m beginning to wonder.

read more »

July 7, 2016

A Borscht Belt Senior Sex Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

I find the punchlines for my limericks in a lot of different places. My friends supply most of them. But current events and television provide many opportunities to hear something that just begs to become a limerick. This ditty came from TV.

I was watching JLTV (Jewish Living TV). They were showing a program of “classic” Jewish comedians and I turned it on in the middle of an old Borscht Belt routine being performed by a comic I didn’t recognize. He was doing his shtick with a “Jewish” accent, pronouncing his “s’s” like “sh” and his “w’s” like “v.” He looked familiar, but how could he not? He kind of looked like me and a whole lot of other Jewish guys I know – chiseled ethnic features (big nose and bushy eyebrows) and a chrome dome (bald).

read more »

November 10, 2015

Another Marriage and or Relationship Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

Do not think that just because I have been married three times that I know anything about marriage or women. I would never be so bold as to suggest that I do. As they say, “I may be dumb, but I ain’t stupid.” And a man claiming that he has expert knowledge of the two aforementioned subjects would be profoundly stupid.

read more »

October 9, 2015

A “Dancing The Night Away” Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

When I was in the sixth grade, fifty one years ago, I took dance lessons as part of the right of passage into becoming an awkward teenager. Thirteen is a big time age for Jewish kids. It’s Bar and Bat Mitzvah time and that means lots of parties with dancing, so my mom sent me off to Carlos & Kay to learn how to trip the light fantastic. I am happy to say that I am glad she did. I can still do the same “jitterbug” steps I learned way back then and that are now being recycled as “swing dancing.” I know this because I have taken some swing dancing lessons with a friend and it was nothing more than a refresher course for me.

read more »

August 19, 2015

Should Old Souls be Young Again

by fivemsteps

T’was late last eve while beset with FoMO,
I ventured forth with my closest mofo;
     we bravely crunked towards Bacchian Hell,
     and now ’tis morning, methinks FML.
“Damneth this vile Devil!”, says I. YOLO.

August 4, 2015

A “Finally I Have False Teeth” Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

I have had a jaw reconstruction. What an ordeal. After 28 months, three surgeries under general anesthetic and a whole lot of wailing on my mouth under a local including installing three implants, I have prosthetic teeth. I am a smile person. I am a friendly cheerful person who likes to smile. I write smile poetry.

read more »

July 13, 2015

Some Simple Self-Help Biz Advice Limericks

by Joel Kravitz

I would like to offer some free unsolicited advice worth every cent you paid for it and less.  It does come from experience, for whatever that’s worth. And for the record, my business record is dismal at best. So now I am calling myself a writer. Ironically, with writing being the only thing that I ever wanted to do, I may have more opportunities to make money doing this than I did when I was involved in small businesses. Never give up on your dreams.

read more »

June 24, 2015

A Couple of Thoughts About Marriage, Common Law or Otherwise Limericks

by Joel Kravitz

I have been involved in a common law marriage and I have a friend who is now in a common law marriage. A license from the state the parties reside in is not the most important requirement for a marriage, legalities notwithstanding. The first requirement is that the two people want to be married to each other and want the world to know that they are married, piece of paper in hand or not.

read more »

April 24, 2014

An Answer For Everything – a mockery of a marriage

by Joel Kravitz

Comic strip poetry

AAFE marriage mockery

April 20, 2014

An Answer For Everything – a foolproof cure for snoring

by Joel Kravitz

Comic strip poetry

AAFE snoring cure

April 14, 2014

An Answer For Everything 140414

by Joel Kravitz

Poetry comic strips

AAFE modern romance

March 22, 2014

Five Million Steps

by fivemsteps

The month of March will set into motion
a journey through woods as wide as oceans,
from the Georgian foothills of Nature’s fane
to sky altars in the mountains of Maine,
a pilgrimage with whole devotion.

I shall hike on this Appalachian trail,
following the blazes of white detail,
‘neath the open sky be it blue or grey,
looking forth only to the northern way,
across the wild rivers, ridges, and dales.

read more »

September 17, 2013

A Couple of “Aging” Limericks on My 69th Birthday

by Joel Kravitz

Grow old gracefully? You must be dreaming.
My Peter Pan Syndrome is teeming.
If I may be so bold,
Here’s how I’m growing old…
I’m going kicking and screaming!

read more »

September 1, 2013

Football Is Back On TV: Limerick.

by Harry

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Posted for jgkravitz

For TV, life without football sucks.
It sells lots of food, beer and trucks.
With lots of competition
And ad repetition…
The networks rake in the big bucks!

August 27, 2013

Limerick: For the poets.

by Harry

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Limerick number 40

 

read more »

August 26, 2013

June moon

by Devina

(via Pinterest)

Poetry Challenge: Limerick

In the airy month of June

It’s quite nice to read at noon

These hungry young days of mine

read more »

August 26, 2013

Wedding dress: Limerick.

by Harry

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Posted for Debb.

There was a man named Darrow
He had totally forgot about tomorrow
So he packed up his things
and even remembered the rings
to match the wedding dress his fiancée would sew

–Debb Stanton

August 25, 2013

Limerick: poetry challenge.

by Harry

The Limerick.

The challenge is to write a Limerick which is a five-line poem.

Rhymed AABBA.

It is to be witty or humorous and lewd within reason 🙂

Don’t forget AABBA.

read more »