Posts tagged ‘limericks’

January 6, 2017

A “Restricted Bathroom Law Reality Check”Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

As anyone who has ever had a baby or an enlarged prostate knows, when you gotta go, you gotta go. And everyone else knows it too. Seriously, who hasn’t prayed that they get to a bathroom in time? I’m guessing God has a special unit of angels just to handle those prayers, they get so many every day.

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November 28, 2016

Sad Wales Scales Tale

by HemmingPlay

screen-shot-2016-11-27-at-7-05-26-pm

@Hemmingplay

Hemmingplay

November 19, 2016

An “Appointments Point To An ‘Organized’ Administration” Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

I am an optimist by nature. I always try to see the good in things and a way to turn problems into opportunities. One of my catch phrases is “No mess is as bad as it looks.” I’m beginning to wonder.

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July 7, 2016

A Borscht Belt Senior Sex Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

I find the punchlines for my limericks in a lot of different places. My friends supply most of them. But current events and television provide many opportunities to hear something that just begs to become a limerick. This ditty came from TV.

I was watching JLTV (Jewish Living TV). They were showing a program of “classic” Jewish comedians and I turned it on in the middle of an old Borscht Belt routine being performed by a comic I didn’t recognize. He was doing his shtick with a “Jewish” accent, pronouncing his “s’s” like “sh” and his “w’s” like “v.” He looked familiar, but how could he not? He kind of looked like me and a whole lot of other Jewish guys I know – chiseled ethnic features (big nose and bushy eyebrows) and a chrome dome (bald).

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November 10, 2015

Another Marriage and or Relationship Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

Do not think that just because I have been married three times that I know anything about marriage or women. I would never be so bold as to suggest that I do. As they say, “I may be dumb, but I ain’t stupid.” And a man claiming that he has expert knowledge of the two aforementioned subjects would be profoundly stupid.

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October 9, 2015

A “Dancing The Night Away” Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

When I was in the sixth grade, fifty one years ago, I took dance lessons as part of the right of passage into becoming an awkward teenager. Thirteen is a big time age for Jewish kids. It’s Bar and Bat Mitzvah time and that means lots of parties with dancing, so my mom sent me off to Carlos & Kay to learn how to trip the light fantastic. I am happy to say that I am glad she did. I can still do the same “jitterbug” steps I learned way back then and that are now being recycled as “swing dancing.” I know this because I have taken some swing dancing lessons with a friend and it was nothing more than a refresher course for me.

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August 19, 2015

Should Old Souls be Young Again

by fivemsteps

T’was late last eve while beset with FoMO,
I ventured forth with my closest mofo;
     we bravely crunked towards Bacchian Hell,
     and now ’tis morning, methinks FML.
“Damneth this vile Devil!”, says I. YOLO.

August 4, 2015

A “Finally I Have False Teeth” Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

I have had a jaw reconstruction. What an ordeal. After 28 months, three surgeries under general anesthetic and a whole lot of wailing on my mouth under a local including installing three implants, I have prosthetic teeth. I am a smile person. I am a friendly cheerful person who likes to smile. I write smile poetry.

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July 13, 2015

Some Simple Self-Help Biz Advice Limericks

by Joel Kravitz

I would like to offer some free unsolicited advice worth every cent you paid for it and less.  It does come from experience, for whatever that’s worth. And for the record, my business record is dismal at best. So now I am calling myself a writer. Ironically, with writing being the only thing that I ever wanted to do, I may have more opportunities to make money doing this than I did when I was involved in small businesses. Never give up on your dreams.

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June 24, 2015

A Couple of Thoughts About Marriage, Common Law or Otherwise Limericks

by Joel Kravitz

I have been involved in a common law marriage and I have a friend who is now in a common law marriage. A license from the state the parties reside in is not the most important requirement for a marriage, legalities notwithstanding. The first requirement is that the two people want to be married to each other and want the world to know that they are married, piece of paper in hand or not.

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April 24, 2014

An Answer For Everything – a mockery of a marriage

by Joel Kravitz

Comic strip poetry

AAFE marriage mockery

April 20, 2014

An Answer For Everything – a foolproof cure for snoring

by Joel Kravitz

Comic strip poetry

AAFE snoring cure

April 14, 2014

An Answer For Everything 140414

by Joel Kravitz

Poetry comic strips

AAFE modern romance

March 22, 2014

Five Million Steps

by fivemsteps

The month of March will set into motion
a journey through woods as wide as oceans,
from the Georgian foothills of Nature’s fane
to sky altars in the mountains of Maine,
a pilgrimage with whole devotion.

I shall hike on this Appalachian trail,
following the blazes of white detail,
‘neath the open sky be it blue or grey,
looking forth only to the northern way,
across the wild rivers, ridges, and dales.

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September 17, 2013

A Couple of “Aging” Limericks

by Joel Kravitz

Grow old gracefully? You must be dreaming.
My Peter Pan Syndrome is teeming.
If I may be so bold,
Here’s how I’m growing old…
I’m going kicking and screaming!

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September 1, 2013

Football Is Back On TV: Limerick.

by Harry

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Posted for jgkravitz

For TV, life without football sucks.
It sells lots of food, beer and trucks.
With lots of competition
And ad repetition…
The networks rake in the big bucks!

August 27, 2013

Limerick: For the poets.

by Harry

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Limerick number 40

 

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August 26, 2013

June moon

by Devina

(via Pinterest)

Poetry Challenge: Limerick

In the airy month of June

It’s quite nice to read at noon

These hungry young days of mine

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August 26, 2013

Wedding dress: Limerick.

by Harry

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Posted for Debb.

There was a man named Darrow
He had totally forgot about tomorrow
So he packed up his things
and even remembered the rings
to match the wedding dress his fiancée would sew

–Debb Stanton

August 25, 2013

Limerick: poetry challenge.

by Harry

The Limerick.

The challenge is to write a Limerick which is a five-line poem.

Rhymed AABBA.

It is to be witty or humorous and lewd within reason 🙂

Don’t forget AABBA.

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August 22, 2013

Limerick: Judgment

by Venkat

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Reflect before you jump to judge

It could be your eye’s smudge

Impossible to destroy my reality

Even when I disagree in totality

Step back, lest it becomes a grudge

© Venkat

August 21, 2013

Limerick: Big Brenda.

by Harry

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Big Brenda has two big baps
she keep them hidden from the chaps
under a big wooly jumper
inside a tight fitting bra
go near them you’ll get hit in the chops

August 20, 2013

Limerick: Girl named Sally

by Harry

Poetry challenge:: Limerick.

Posted for Cyprus girl.

There was a girl named Sally
Who liked to play in the alley

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August 19, 2013

Limerick: Homework

by Venkat

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

There once was a cunning school boy

For his homework, he had a nice ploy

He teased his classmate much, do the work

But the dull teacher seemed a better shirk

He let her check the work, to his silly joy

© Venkat

August 18, 2013

Limerick: Choice

by Venkat

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

The root of freedom is choice

As I see my son, play with toys

The question is about being free

Not to scream or to let it be

But to speak in one’s own voice

© Venkat

August 18, 2013

Poetry challenge – limerick

by journeyintopoetry
Happy slappy fakey tan
Makes a difference to your nan
She sits there all brown
With nary a frown
And wafts her tanned face with a fan.
August 18, 2013

Number 10 bus: Limerick.

by Harry

Poetry challenge: Limericks.

Posted for Justlovebeingme.

There was a wee woman named Jus
Who fell off a number 10 bus

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August 17, 2013

Limerick: If I Were Tall

by Venkat

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

If I were tall and measured a ‘furlong’

My eyes may seem short of ‘strong’

To mistake Jupiter for earth

Melons as lemons from birth

See why height could become ‘wrong’

© Venkat