A “Restricted Bathroom Law Reality Check”Limerick

As anyone who has ever had a baby or an enlarged prostate knows, when you gotta go, you gotta go. And everyone else knows it too. Seriously, who hasn’t prayed that they get to a bathroom in time? I’m guessing God has a special unit of angels just to handle those prayers, they get so many every day.

Sad Wales Scales Tale

@Hemmingplay

Hemmingplay

An “Appointments Point To An ‘Organized’ Administration” Limerick

I am an optimist by nature. I always try to see the good in things and a way to turn problems into opportunities. One of my catch phrases is “No mess is as bad as it looks.” I’m beginning to wonder.

A Borscht Belt Senior Sex Limerick

I find the punchlines for my limericks in a lot of different places. My friends supply most of them. But current events and television provide many opportunities to hear something that just begs to become a limerick. This ditty came from TV.

I was watching JLTV (Jewish Living TV). They were showing a program of “classic” Jewish comedians and I turned it on in the middle of an old Borscht Belt routine being performed by a comic I didn’t recognize. He was doing his shtick with a “Jewish” accent, pronouncing his “s’s” like “sh” and his “w’s” like “v.” He looked familiar, but how could he not? He kind of looked like me and a whole lot of other Jewish guys I know – chiseled ethnic features (big nose and bushy eyebrows) and a chrome dome (bald).

Another Marriage and or Relationship Limerick

Do not think that just because I have been married three times that I know anything about marriage or women. I would never be so bold as to suggest that I do. As they say, “I may be dumb, but I ain’t stupid.” And a man claiming that he has expert knowledge of the two aforementioned subjects would be profoundly stupid.

A “Dancing The Night Away” Limerick

When I was in the sixth grade, fifty one years ago, I took dance lessons as part of the right of passage into becoming an awkward teenager. Thirteen is a big time age for Jewish kids. It’s Bar and Bat Mitzvah time and that means lots of parties with dancing, so my mom sent me off to Carlos & Kay to learn how to trip the light fantastic. I am happy to say that I am glad she did. I can still do the same “jitterbug” steps I learned way back then and that are now being recycled as “swing dancing.” I know this because I have taken some swing dancing lessons with a friend and it was nothing more than a refresher course for me.

Should Old Souls be Young Again

T’was late last eve while beset with FoMO,
I ventured forth with my closest mofo;
     we bravely crunked towards Bacchian Hell,
     and now ’tis morning, methinks FML.
“Damneth this vile Devil!”, says I. YOLO.

A “Finally I Have False Teeth” Limerick

I have had a jaw reconstruction. What an ordeal. After 28 months, three surgeries under general anesthetic and a whole lot of wailing on my mouth under a local including installing three implants, I have prosthetic teeth. I am a smile person. I am a friendly cheerful person who likes to smile. I write smile poetry.

Some Simple Self-Help Biz Advice Limericks

I would like to offer some free unsolicited advice worth every cent you paid for it and less.  It does come from experience, for whatever that’s worth. And for the record, my business record is dismal at best. So now I am calling myself a writer. Ironically, with writing being the only thing that I ever wanted to do, I may have more opportunities to make money doing this than I did when I was involved in small businesses. Never give up on your dreams.

A Couple of Thoughts About Marriage, Common Law or Otherwise Limericks

I have been involved in a common law marriage and I have a friend who is now in a common law marriage. A license from the state the parties reside in is not the most important requirement for a marriage, legalities notwithstanding. The first requirement is that the two people want to be married to each other and want the world to know that they are married, piece of paper in hand or not.

An Answer For Everything – a mockery of a marriage

Comic strip poetry

An Answer For Everything – a foolproof cure for snoring

Comic strip poetry

An Answer For Everything 140414

Poetry comic strips

Five Million Steps

The month of March will set into motion
a journey through woods as wide as oceans,
from the Georgian foothills of Nature’s fane
to sky altars in the mountains of Maine,
a pilgrimage with whole devotion.

I shall hike on this Appalachian trail,
following the blazes of white detail,
‘neath the open sky be it blue or grey,
looking forth only to the northern way,
across the wild rivers, ridges, and dales.

A Couple of “Aging” Limericks

Grow old gracefully? You must be dreaming.
My Peter Pan Syndrome is teeming.
If I may be so bold,
Here’s how I’m growing old…
I’m going kicking and screaming!

Football Is Back On TV: Limerick.

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Posted for jgkravitz

For TV, life without football sucks.
It sells lots of food, beer and trucks.
With lots of competition
And ad repetition…
The networks rake in the big bucks!

Limerick: For the poets.

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Limerick number 40

 

June moon

(via Pinterest)

Poetry Challenge: Limerick

In the airy month of June

It’s quite nice to read at noon

These hungry young days of mine

Wedding dress: Limerick.

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Posted for Debb.

There was a man named Darrow
He had totally forgot about tomorrow
So he packed up his things
and even remembered the rings
to match the wedding dress his fiancée would sew

–Debb Stanton

Limerick: poetry challenge.

The Limerick.

The challenge is to write a Limerick which is a five-line poem.

Rhymed AABBA.

It is to be witty or humorous and lewd within reason 🙂

Don’t forget AABBA.

Limerick: Judgment

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Reflect before you jump to judge

It could be your eye’s smudge

Impossible to destroy my reality

Even when I disagree in totality

Step back, lest it becomes a grudge

© Venkat

Limerick: Big Brenda.

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

Big Brenda has two big baps
she keep them hidden from the chaps
under a big wooly jumper
inside a tight fitting bra
go near them you’ll get hit in the chops

Limerick: Girl named Sally

Poetry challenge:: Limerick.

Posted for Cyprus girl.

There was a girl named Sally
Who liked to play in the alley

Limerick: Homework

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

There once was a cunning school boy

For his homework, he had a nice ploy

He teased his classmate much, do the work

But the dull teacher seemed a better shirk

He let her check the work, to his silly joy

© Venkat

Limerick: Choice

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

The root of freedom is choice

As I see my son, play with toys

The question is about being free

Not to scream or to let it be

But to speak in one’s own voice

© Venkat

Poetry challenge – limerick

Happy slappy fakey tan

Makes a difference to your nan

She sits there all brown

With nary a frown

And wafts her tanned face with a fan.

Number 10 bus: Limerick.

Poetry challenge: Limericks.

Posted for Justlovebeingme.

There was a wee woman named Jus
Who fell off a number 10 bus

Limerick: If I Were Tall

Poetry challenge: Limerick.

If I were tall and measured a ‘furlong’

My eyes may seem short of ‘strong’

To mistake Jupiter for earth

Melons as lemons from birth

See why height could become ‘wrong’

© Venkat