A Memorial Day Limerick

Today is a National Holiday honoring all of the men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice to keep the world safe from the worst evil and inhumanity known to man. Their sacrifice is the reason we have the freedom that we live under in the greatest country in the world. It is a day to reflect upon how a nation united can overcome anything that threatens our freedom. Happy Memorial Day.

A Pandemic Appearance Limerick

I can’t post a selfie because it would be a scary. I look like a cross between Santa Claus and Doc Brown from Back To The Future. I start every day the same way. I walk into the bathroom, look in the mirror, scream, do a costume change from pj’s to sweatpants and head to the kitchen to make coffee.

A “Pandemic Anxiety – Don’t Eat Your Heart Out, Just Eat” Limerick

Staying home is the right thing to do. But it is not easy. You have a lot of time to think about our uncertain future and that leads to anxiety. And it is boring. But when there is nothing to do, there is always something you can do…..

A Pandemic Crises Reality Check Limerick

A global health crisis. A global economic crisis.
Both inflicting unimaginable pain and suffering, loss and fear.

A “StayHomeStaySafe Connecting = Anti-Social Distancing” Limerick

The pandemic has changed so many aspects of what was our “everyday lives.” One of the most dramatically affected things has been our relationships.

The Saturday Evening Post April 2020 Limerick Contest Entry

The Saturday Evening Post April 2020 Limerick Contest EntryThe contest is this: write a limerick about the classic Saturday Evening Post picture.

I used to enter this contest regularly. I haven’t entered in a while. I won it one time with a limerick that I was surprised to win with as it had a bit of suggestive innuendo in it. The link to that winning entry is below:

A Shakespearean Solution Limerick

There is nothng funny about the pandemic and what it has done to turn the world and the lives of everyone in it upside down. It would be impossible to write a traditional “joke” limerick with a four line setup and a fifth line punchline about it. However, I hope that I can use a touch of humor to send a serious message by slightly altering one of my best limericks where I take possibly the most famous speech in the English language and give it a Texas twist. I had to take a few liberties with the meter to get the message right

The world was riding high in the saddle,
Now, it’s up a creek with no paddle.
Tis not just nobler in the mind
To sit home on your behind…
It will make this Sea of Troubles skedaddle!

Inspired by the news about how spiders fly using electric currents (https://phys.org/news/2018-07-spiders-ballooning-electric-fields.html):

How does the tiny spider fly so high?
Wingless like balloon it sails the sky.

Limerick – Fall

​

Mr. and Mrs. Bee went to skydive to be light

Balloons in belly of a sky, in suits tight

Lighter than air, thin as cloud

Feather landing on moon, proud

Quuen-in-law stung, they so fell back in fright

image: i.pinimg.com

Limerick – Fear

She was an Amazon, nothing to fear

Rivers gave way, her step taps near

Mountains shrunk, melted cheese

Bowing down, low wild white geese

Earth quaked and ate her, no tear
image: rileystark.deviantart.com

Limerick – Lies

Mrs. Android went to see where truth lies
She surfed through Google sea, being wise
Truths from cocoons be lies in bits
Lies from cocoons be truths in hits
She nodded, ‘Lies are truths written by mice’

#21 POETRY =

By Charles Robert Lindholm 

Poetry =

A “Spouse Texting” Limerick

The backspace button’s a valuable tool.
It can prevent you from acting the fool.
Before you hit “send,”
It’s best to pretend…
And comply with the “spouse texting” rule!

For an instructional video – see more

Sad Wales Scales Tale

@Hemmingplay

Hemmingplay

An “America Goes Commando”- Day After The Election Limerick

I have been off the limerick trail for a while, even though the campaign trail is a gold mine for material. However, I have not found this to be an election that I wanted to write jokes about. It is, seriously, not a joking matter. I have never seen an election like this and, God willing, I will not see another one like it.

A Flagrant Foul Ejection Limerick

I got tossed last night. And not for arguing balls and strikes. Though to be consistent with the baseball metaphor, I was sent to the showers for missing a sign and trying to steal a base on my own. I was out by a mile. Rally cut short. No chance to get into scoring position.

A Couple of Limericks

There once was a young lady from Kent

Who lived for a year in a tent

But the scratchy brown grass

Was a pain in the arse

So she is refusing to pay all her rent!

One Syllable Poetry Challenge – A Limerick

One Syllable Poem: Poetry Challenge


There was an old girl called Jude

Who did not like those that were rude.

Should Old Souls be Young Again

T’was late last eve while beset with FoMO,
I ventured forth with my closest mofo;
     we bravely crunked towards Bacchian Hell,
     and now ’tis morning, methinks FML.
“Damneth this vile Devil!”, says I. YOLO.

An “Empathy Counts For Nothing” Limerick

Falling down is not good at any age. When you factor in “The Curse of 40” it goes from not good to potentially very bad. The Curse of 40 is this – on your 40th birthday, from that day forward, every ache and pain will hurt twice as much and will last twice as long. The best you can hope for going forward and battling the aging process is that it doesn’t get any worse than that. So when there is some distance from that cursed birthday, you can see how falling down has pain in the ass written all over it, literally and figuratively.

A “Finally I Have False Teeth” Limerick

I have had a jaw reconstruction. What an ordeal. After 28 months, three surgeries under general anesthetic and a whole lot of wailing on my mouth under a local including installing three implants, I have prosthetic teeth. I am a smile person. I am a friendly cheerful person who likes to smile. I write smile poetry.

A Should I Say Thanks For Not Asking Limerick

I am resisting aging with all my might. I’m holding up mentally. Physically is another story. I have always remained fit since my high school days. I still like working out and playing sports. That part of physically is fine. It’s the bald, gray, bags under my eyes, have to take a pill to piss part of physically that is messing with me.

Scrabble Limerick

A Zen Buddhist Byzantium Queen
Played saxophone sexy and mean
She just blew jolly jazz,
with buzz and pizzazz
In a jacuzzi with Lizzy and Jean

An Answer For Everything – Take Out The Doggy….Bag

We are back with a new comic strip after a brief hiatus.

Jae provided both the inspiration and the artwork for this one which we know that everyone can relate too

Diddle Daddle

 

I think I’m important

At least to my dogs

I’ve kissed many men

But mostly just frogs

I love a good pun

I need a good Ark

For me and the dogs

Do you Noah great guy

Please just no more frogs

A Just When I Thought I Was Becoming Less Immature Limerick

I thought that once I got to 60 that those uncontrollable urges to behave like a college sophomore would go away or at least not come around as much. What I have come to find is that is not the case and those urges are becoming a more regular occurrence. It happens almost all the time when I am writing limericks. That’s when I am laughing out loud at my own stupid jokes and, of course, having the most fun. My process starts with a punch line that hits the paper and then it is anything goes from there.

An Utz-ing Limerick

• Utz – To goad, to needle.

That is what my online Yiddish glossary calls it. We called it ball busting in high school and it is still ball busting to me.

jolly green lizard: Limerick challenge

Submitted by Mary Beth Trilling

There once was a jolly green lizard
Who got himself caught in a blizzard
So he donned hat and coat
And barely took note
Of the snow that quite covered his gizzard.