Poison Ivy

Beautiful is the pain

I go through everyday

Turning me into a beautiful butterfly

From the cocoon I’ve been.

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The Hard Way

Another school year has begun. It follows days and weeks of fun,
But not for me.

-17.08.17_15:07-

It whispers it’s lies
An incessant barrage

-17.08.17_14:40-

I wallow and force myself
To go on

-13.08.17_21:09-

Unexpected news
Without a direct connection

-09.08.17_09:14-

I tug my hair
Wanting it to be

-19.07.18_23:16-

Fade away
Disappear,

THE BLACK HOLE

 

It’s a black hole.

Inconspicuous,

yet there.

pulling you in

away from the Universe,

weighing you down

into a spiraling emptiness,

Despair.

Sitting like a rock,
Not symbolic of thy power
But a being
In despair..

Lows and highs
Of life, for all:
A factoid
But not for me anymore..

-29.06.17_16:09-

BIRTHDAY WISH 1996

By Charles Robert Lindholm

I don’t remember

any of my other

47 birthday wishes

but this year’s wish is different

 

I will always remember

my birthday wish for 1996

How?

How can you give up on the only self..
that never gave up on you?

How can you put a full stop to a story..
that involves other people too?

The tunnnel

She entered a tunnel

dark and straight

the light at the end

was a long way  off

All That is Left

achingly

sadness

feels like

drifting

like

falling

like 

Tonight

 

Tonight,
let gravity
bring me down

Tonight,
leave my soul
to drown

Love

To think, you’re finally here with me!
After years of relentless, flirtatious banter,
Sometimes as playful as puppies, we were:
Other times more serious than a snake bite–
Always fruitless my affections were.

Unattainably distant, you seemed to me.
A hazy speck just beyond the horizon,
Across the ocean of my life.
And I, stranded on my little island,
Couldn’t possibly build a smoke signal
Tall enough to alert your look-out.

-15.05.17_16:57-

Distant but here
I hear the happy sounds

this time

this time
I won’t let
your soul fall
into the sadness
you feed

this time
I won’t let you
hurt yourself
as I watch
you bleed

-30.04.17_20:36-

Malaise,
Climate of the time

-26.04.17_10:04-

Light leaks in
Small, bright white glow

Origami

I cannot

Be broken

Twice

But life is

Doing its damn best

-21.04.17_15:32-

I still feel the depression,
Even though today

Brilliant Madness (revisited)

I live in a state

Of brilliant madness

I teeter on the apex

Of a jagged mountain

Balanced atop a skateboard

Precarious

I Am the Sorrow

Some days I do not just feel sorrow

Some days I am the sorrow

I am the grey sky

That threatens spitting snow

I am the heaviness in your limbs

Your shuffling gait

Reluctant to get

Where you are expected

Encroaching Darkness

darkness

is washing

over me

like

spilled

black ink

viscous

puddles

Bittersweet

life offers me

bittersweet herbs

i place them

on my tongue

wake my taste buds

 

-29.03.17_23:26-

The hot water,
Cold metal bite
Along my thigh,
The urge to slice
And let loose a red horde,

May I?

If you’re going through hell,
May I be your drops of rain?
If in your sadness you dwell,
May I ease some of your pain?

If the world has gone black in your melancholic eyes,
May I be a your candles giving out light?
If you’re sinking deeply in your cries,
May I, for once, become your white knight?