BIRTHDAY WISH 1996

By Charles Robert Lindholm

I don’t remember

any of my other

47 birthday wishes

but this year’s wish is different

 

I will always remember

my birthday wish for 1996

How?

How can you give up on the only self..
that never gave up on you?

How can you put a full stop to a story..
that involves other people too?

The tunnnel

She entered a tunnel

dark and straight

the light at the end

was a long way  off

All That is Left

achingly

sadness

feels like

drifting

like

falling

like 

Tonight

 

Tonight,
let gravity
bring me down

Tonight,
leave my soul
to drown

Love

To think, you’re finally here with me!
After years of relentless, flirtatious banter,
Sometimes as playful as puppies, we were:
Other times more serious than a snake bite–
Always fruitless my affections were.

Unattainably distant, you seemed to me.
A hazy speck just beyond the horizon,
Across the ocean of my life.
And I, stranded on my little island,
Couldn’t possibly build a smoke signal
Tall enough to alert your look-out.

-15.05.17_16:57-

Distant but here
I hear the happy sounds

this time

this time
I won’t let
your soul fall
into the sadness
you feed

this time
I won’t let you
hurt yourself
as I watch
you bleed

-30.04.17_20:36-

Malaise,
Climate of the time

-26.04.17_10:04-

Light leaks in
Small, bright white glow

Origami

I cannot

Be broken

Twice

But life is

Doing its damn best

-21.04.17_15:32-

I still feel the depression,
Even though today

Brilliant Madness (revisited)

I live in a state

Of brilliant madness

I teeter on the apex

Of a jagged mountain

Balanced atop a skateboard

Precarious

I Am the Sorrow

Some days I do not just feel sorrow

Some days I am the sorrow

I am the grey sky

That threatens spitting snow

I am the heaviness in your limbs

Your shuffling gait

Reluctant to get

Where you are expected

Encroaching Darkness

darkness

is washing

over me

like

spilled

black ink

viscous

puddles

Bittersweet

life offers me

bittersweet herbs

i place them

on my tongue

wake my taste buds

 

-29.03.17_23:26-

The hot water,
Cold metal bite
Along my thigh,
The urge to slice
And let loose a red horde,

May I?

If you’re going through hell,
May I be your drops of rain?
If in your sadness you dwell,
May I ease some of your pain?

If the world has gone black in your melancholic eyes,
May I be a your candles giving out light?
If you’re sinking deeply in your cries,
May I, for once, become your white knight?

-07.02.17_00:10-

Spiraling
Out of control,
No sense of success
You hold your head up
Just barely out of the
Shit,
Feeling the supports
Crack

-27.01.17_11:09-

Twenty years later
And I’m brought right back
Memories still rule
And the hurt is still fresh

-20.01.17_14:12-

Wind blown
Skeletal hands
Reaching and ripping
While more still

-20.01.17_11:44-

I watch the news
And see the signs
All through a looking glass,
Malaise roosts
Temporary control

-08.01.17_16:05-

Odd day,
Snugglenapping is in order,
But
The one I want
In my bed,
Sits

-20.12.16_02:11-

Poetry challenge: Christmas poem



Watching the ugly come out
Stress and hurt
Fully deserved
As time marches steadily
Forward,
The happy and festive
Overshadowed by the
Circumstances,
Feeding the side that hates,

-14.12.16_11:56-

I speak the lie
Trying to convince myself
And prop up
The crumbling house
My life has become,

Life Matters(on suicide)

The holidays are so lonely for so many. However, there is

always an answer better than taking your life.

Dear Heavenly Father in heaven,

I lift up this one who is broken.

The pain is too much to bear.

He can barely get up in the morning

Wishes he were with you there!

-19.11.16_11:34-

Time,
A song in cahoots with
The voice in my head,
A not so subtle
Whisper,
Urging me to
Check out,

-05.11.16_09:46-

I daydream about
Dragging a knife through
My face,
Make the outside
As scarred and ugly
Just like the inside.