Archive for ‘SuAn’

December 23, 2014

i forgot that you will hurt me

by suicidallyanonymous

But you are
my unwithering shadow
-a ladder I can climb
like a beanstalk to rest
the soles of my feet.
If only I could touch
yours.

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December 14, 2014

drowning pool

by suicidallyanonymous

You are the ash
in my lungs,
and the split in my lips
[and that’s not a bad thing
-I like scars].

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December 1, 2014

$aint

by suicidallyanonymous

I don’t care if your world is ending today
I don’t want you to see
where I hide the hurt,
because I burned myself
when I tried to bleach
the ache in my bones

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November 23, 2014

to the heart that held a raw, undying malice

by suicidallyanonymous

On a paper sheet, she wants to hurt herself
in the same way a mattress bends
its spring to grope the slut
bleeding her morals.

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November 20, 2014

say something i’m giving up on you.

by suicidallyanonymous

She is topless,
a tarnished fountain
of marble despair.
And the world is a golf ball
with grass stains

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November 10, 2014

tin cans and shooting stars

by suicidallyanonymous

[ground control to major tom]
I wish you wrote me a love note,
and sent it to me
on a fragile paper crane.
I’d fly away
to be a bright and shining star
like her.

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October 30, 2014

i love you really, wait.

by suicidallyanonymous

Tell me something heartbreaking,
and turn my veins to paper
in your flamethrowing hands.
I wish your tongue could cure
the crack in my throat.

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October 24, 2014

slutgarden

by suicidallyanonymous

He taught the dying stars
how to bury themselves
in the barbed arms of a cloud,
because it’s where the sun ran
to fuck the moon before sunrise.

October 17, 2014

it’s the taxidermy of you and me

by suicidallyanonymous

I don’t want to make sense,
because I lack the intent
of knitting stray English

   [and]

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October 13, 2014

she isn’t what she used to be

by suicidallyanonymous

I wish I could honestly express rage,
unwrapped like a tornado in summer.
The way you can unfold
and become verbally violent,
but I am too small
for courage.

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October 10, 2014

just like hazy little pine needles

by suicidallyanonymous

The earth can see you.
And I can see you.
But you see a mirror,
naked in your callousness,
with bright blue flaws
burned into your thigh.

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July 27, 2014

you’re not a shovel, and i’m not your dirt

by suicidallyanonymous

Before the week has had
its fill in misery,
an emptiness
you continue to leave behind
buries itself in my spine.
Maybe that’s why
I can’t see the scars yet

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July 25, 2014

sundays are my suicide days

by suicidallyanonymous

In the pit of your stomach,
miracle pills dissolve
to consume your liver
like a vulture.
When you die,
they will pluck your eyebrows
and turn your eyelids
inside out.

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July 22, 2014

I never promised you a garden, you’ll just water me down.

by suicidallyanonymous

I thought my throat was marbles,
and velcro was the lining
holding my organs in place.
Because I am cotton socks;
black and brittle heels
scraped bloody
to the corks in my bones.

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July 19, 2014

somebody is dying somewhere, take a candle

by suicidallyanonymous

The trees are taller than I.
Their leaves stain my hair
with the delicate decay
from dark chocolate autumn.

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July 16, 2014

trigger finger and streaks in the wax

by suicidallyanonymous

I am terrified of loving you, because it’s all too easy, and I wish I didn’t know how to aim.
Maybe then I wouldn’t leave bullet holes in your heart. But I want to love someone.
Someone who could define me without words, but maybe I was meant to be alone…
because I could hurt you. And all I can do is skin myself against the barbs of self-loathing
(I don’t deserve a single fuck).

read more »

July 13, 2014

biting down on pure heroin

by suicidallyanonymous

This is the glass divide,
where hours are molten lava
of time’s decaying wounds.

Here I am a myriad
of untidy horrors soaking
my tongue.
Caught inside a box,
and I am a contortionist;
heavy little bones
telling me how not to breathe.

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February 8, 2014

this is where I dropped my pencil

by suicidallyanonymous

heil, hitler.
Staccato hearts march
dusted in lint,
towards the slaughterhouse
in our palms;
smoking grass stains
from the pleats
in our lungs

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February 7, 2014

Burnt Midnight (in collaboration with Sky Lanterns & Kendo Poet)

by suicidallyanonymous

Beneath my eyelids
I am ugly
even in nakedness.
Calloused and vulnerable,
a raw replicate
of crooked lines
and potholes, filling
with the breath
of crusty love.

The night leaves a topsoil
of ecstasy to hide
time’s decaying wounds;
I am a plastic flower
on a wilted stem.
Don’t even say
the word
beauty.

read more »

January 23, 2014

Burnt Midnight (in collaboration with Sky Lanterns; Kendo poet)

by suicidallyanonymous

Beneath my eyelids
I am ugly
even in nakedness.
Calloused and vulnerable,
a raw replicate
of crooked lines
and potholes, filling
with the breath
of crusty love.

read more »

January 19, 2014

bittersweet between my teeth

by suicidallyanonymous

one wishbone for the ghosts to roll the dice,
We want to say hello
in prose with daisies
between our tendons,
to kill the sounds of rescue;
filling with anguish
[this is how we prove
our humanity].

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November 28, 2013

good intentions don’t want my love anymore

by suicidallyanonymous

Kidnap my attention,
and drag titanic raindrops
behind the curtains
of broken arithmetic

[one times zero still equals
a black hole and a bartender].

ii.
The kitchen clock
can’t wipe Wednesday’s brow
with epileptic fingers,
and the fridge throws hate
in the form of dismembered
chicken wings

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November 19, 2013

dig right in me

by suicidallyanonymous

Lay your tears to rest
in my skull like jewels,
to fray
my love for tragedy
and shake the world away.

..
This house is cold
inside summer ovens
of tar and butter,
where hammocks leave
crosshatched dreams
in my back.

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November 4, 2013

I know that I can help you (I just don’t fucking want to)

by suicidallyanonymous

It hurts to love her;
the broken girl
painting red in your eyes,
telling you to stop
[stop breathing, love].

She’s not leaving without
breadcrumbs and false hope,
because she’s got
the hands of gravity.

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November 1, 2013

tessellate

by suicidallyanonymous

They don’t want us
to last forever,
because living color
bleeds zebra
after the decade
swallows its own lungs.

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October 23, 2013

like the dolphins can swim

by suicidallyanonymous

There’s a heart in my hand
-a book full of words,
about trees speaking
muddled birdsong.

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September 29, 2013

this old routine

by suicidallyanonymous

They say a lot of things
-the saints among sinners,
masquerading as bystanders in
merely coincidental happenings.

They use big words
like skyscrapers
and jump-ropes,
trying to catch a cloud
in their cardboard fists.

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August 31, 2013

malformations in the code

by suicidallyanonymous

It’s a despair thing.
The rainbows, that is.
Where someone forgot breakfast
on the curb, with human trafficking
protruding from
a smile and some eyeliner.
Or maybe it’s a vocal thing.
The secrets, that is.
Where chili pepper-matters

read more »