Archive for ‘Humour poetry’

May 27, 2020

An Ode To A Bidet Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

Baku bidet

I have been living overseas since November. It has been the adventure of a lifetime for me. I have enjoyed experiencing so many new things and immersing myself in the culture – literally.

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April 10, 2020

A Making Stay Home, Stay Safe Fun Limerick

by Joel Kravitz


Some Isolation Inspiration

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April 5, 2020

A Shakespearean Solution Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

There is nothng funny about the pandemic and what it has done to turn the world and the lives of everyone in it upside down. It would be impossible to write a traditional “joke” limerick with a four line setup and a fifth line punchline about it. However, I hope that I can use a touch of humor to send a serious message by slightly altering one of my best limericks where I take possibly the most famous speech in the English language and give it a Texas twist. I had to take a few liberties with the meter to get the message right

The world was riding high in the saddle,
Now, it’s up a creek with no paddle.
Tis not just nobler in the mind
To sit home on your behind…
It will make this Sea of Troubles skedaddle!

September 16, 2017

The Pigeon Traveller

by Jem Croucher

Met a pigeon on the tube
on the Metropolitan line
Wondered where he might be going
at this rather early time
Several stations sprang to mind
Canary Wharf was one
And Peckham was another
which rather seemed like fun

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August 28, 2017

Leaving Rhodes

by Jem Croucher

Part 10 of 20 in ‘The Aegean Shores’ series

Another first not seen before
Leaving Rhodes tonight
A big red tug at either end
exerting all their might

Moved the ship out from the berth
into open water
Allowed us to get underway
and moving as we ‘oughta’

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August 22, 2017

Kalamata Castle

by Jem Croucher

Part 4 of 20 in ‘The Aegean Shores’ series

From Kalamata castle
having climbed for just a mile
Several ageing fir trees there
gave respite for a while

The heat was almost tangible
but we were not complaining
As the sun shines here ‘most all the time
But at home it’s probably raining

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August 3, 2017

Beans ‘n’ Broccoli

by Jem Croucher

Beans ‘n’ Broccoli
we have grown
from tiny seeds
when they were sewn

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July 21, 2017

Lilac Lovliness

by Jem Croucher

They grow in abundance
by the railway bridge line
And their fragrance in summer
is completely divine
Their heady perfume
just intoxicates me
So I took this quick picture
for you all to see

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February 12, 2017

The Serial Killer

by Sebastian St.John Montgomery-Greystoke

the-ripperI still remember my very first victim

He lent me a hammer and died when I hit him.


The specialist diagnosed me a ‘psychopath’

Sadly she was later found drowned in the bath.

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January 9, 2017

Running the Mouth: Butterfly Blues

by Frank Hubeny

When I’m here then they move there
Or anywhere than here or where
I think it best to aim my mind.

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November 28, 2016

Sad Wales Scales Tale

by HemmingPlay




September 12, 2016

Just a Moment

by mzanemcclellan

I used to hate this thing for its ticking,
and now I hate it for its lack.
When I look at its red eyes malevolently,
I can swear that it’s looking back. 
I’ve been stuck in this room for hours,
or maybe it’s even been days. 
The nurse is the only one who tells me a thing,
“Just a moment” is all that she says. 

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September 6, 2016

Atlantic Surge

by Jem Croucher


Outside our porthole
down on deck one
the waves surge against us
and it’s brilliant fun
Because sometimes the sky
we can see as we oughta
whilst the very next moment
we’re all underwater!

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August 17, 2016

A Couple of Limericks

by Judy E Martin

There once was a young lady from Kent

Who lived for a year in a tent

But the scratchy brown grass

Was a pain in the arse

So she is refusing to pay all her rent!

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June 20, 2016

Bellis Perennis

by Jem Croucher

Poetry challenge: Tongue Twister poetry


The Bellis Perennis
is a bit of a menace
and is quite fond of tennis
as it looks like a ball

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March 26, 2016

A Dodoitsu – March 26, 2016

by Georgia
Dodoitsu – Honey-suckers
under the warm spring sunshine
inside blossoms and bright blooms
bees hop hither and thither
(poor honey-suckers)
© G.s.k. ‘16

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March 17, 2016


by Harry

It’s said that woman

can multi-task

I can see it some times

but I still had to ask

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February 29, 2016

Your body: Haiku

by Harry

Your body has beautiful lines

Your curves are just so perfect

for one to touch and to caress

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February 9, 2016


by russtowne

When I say I’ll be done in five minutes and she’s waiting for me

She tells me I’m taking ten when it’s only been three

But when she says she needs five minutes for her to be done

I’m still waiting and waiting when it’s been thirty-one!

–Russ Towne

© Copyright 2016 Russ Towne

All Rights Reserved

January 22, 2016

Cloud Blankets

by Jem Croucher


You can see why it’s called ‘a blanket of cloud’
‘Cos the sky’s all tucked up in the West
There’s yellow out there suggesting the sun
But it’s staying in bed for a rest

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December 21, 2015

A letter to Santa

by Harry

Poetry challenge: Christmas poem.


Santa my letter to you
has lots of wish’s
I do hope that you
can make them come true
peace in the world so that
no more murderous acts occur

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December 3, 2015

The cup.

by Harry


I’m a little egg cup small and fat

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October 19, 2015

BIG C’s. poem

by Harry

A humour poem full of C’s

Is it free verse.

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October 19, 2015

Senior Moments III

by Jem Croucher


Just had a senior moment
Whilst writing poems in my book
Noticed I’d just missed my stop
Glancing up to take a look

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September 19, 2015

A “Man In The Mirror” Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

The Jewish people of the world call this time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur “The Days of Awe.” This is a time for reflection and introspection and self realization. It is a time for spirituality and fellowship.

I have been doing some reflecting and it led to this self realization

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September 13, 2015


by danielschwamm


Concrete-laden, stretched a mile
Wide and spacious, great support.
Sturdy confidant.

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September 10, 2015


by Jem Croucher


It might be a weed
But I don’t care
For it looks really nice
Growing right there
Outside my back door
First thing I see
Going out to the garden
Best place it can be

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September 8, 2015

The thing about the sun

by Jem Croucher


The wonderful things about the sun is that
it makes you forgive and forget
Just one day is enough even though all last week
it was cold, overcast and just wet

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