Hey Crazy Lady

 

‘Hey crazy lady go shag a donkey’

came a yell from a suped-up hatchback.

The boys cackled like jackals

and roared towards the horizon.

The subject of their abuse skipped on,

her layers of tattered cardigans armour

against their infantile words.

Honey

 

Blood may be thicker than water

but what we have is honey.

Syrupy strands hanging between us

every time we part, pooling at our feet,

an amber river connecting us from afar.

Our Future

 

Our shared future flashed before me;

me sobbing, bruised, inadequate.

You glowering, snarling, growling,

diminishing me to an inch in stature.

Jigsaw City

 

I’ve heard this city called a multicultural city

but it doesn’t feel that way at all.

I walk for miles and notice the changes,

crossing invisible, unspoken walls.

Subtle shifts in grocery shops, hairdressers,

the types of clothing you can find.

I laugh at those who say we are blended

like some exotic smoothie, combined.

Black cheek rubbing against white.

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Book Grief

 

I feel the paper wedge

in my right hand thinning.

The wedge in the left

gradually building,

creeping up silently.

These Girls

 

You like the ones who show their bones

and blow smoke in your direction.

Who sulkily listen to the Rolling Stones

while gazing at their reflection.

Girls who fuck with your heart and head

snorting lines in a seedy bar.

Seven Days

 

We missed one another by a week.
A hair’s breadth in this universe.
Our young bodies must have been aware of one another though,
when our mother held you close, as only a mother can.
Felt each other through our mother’s skin
under which I was warmly cocooned.

New Year’s Morning

 

I couldn’t sleep that night.

Not with your arm draped across my body

like a heavy vine, making my heart quicken.

I could not sleep knowing what that grey,

new year dawn would bring. Furrowed brows,

stolen glances, an awkward kiss on the cheek.

Second Best

 

I’ll take second best

if it means I can still be close to you,

be the recipient of your smile,

share with you my dreams.

I shall never forget

what passed between us.,

Such words, such deeds,

cannot be roughly rubbed out

like a misdrawn line.

Anatomy

 

Your crooked smile foxed me

into believing I was in.

That I had solved the riddle without a clue,

enchanted the lock that knew no key.

Your eyes, half shut, whispered unknowable truths

of freedom, liberty.

A freedom with the potential to become ingrained

in the heart I used to call my own

but gave to you, recklessly loaned indefinitely.

Embracing Typhoons

 

Frustrated with these barren crags of thought

I leap beyond to those clear, still waters.

Poised for a splash with unending ripples

but slipping in smoothly in tranquil hush.

Blocked in by mirrors I so long wished for

only to find the reflections putrid.

Our Kingfisher

 

You took me down to that quiet stretch of river

which barely deserves such a name,

especially in that parched midsummer month.

You held your finger to your lips

and with a sharp upward twitch of your

straggly eyebrows conveyed to me your boyish pleasure.

We clumsily glided to our lookout position

by the stagnant pond, its oozing stench kept heavy

by the still, stifling air. Our silence engulfed me,

my young years knew no such patience.

Case Studies

 

I search for love in this crooked world,

but find it wanting.

Those movies are no help to me with their

profanities of love, those false sentiments.

Cheekbones clashing falsely on cheekbones.

I try the radio but saccharine words are an

insult to the storm in my belly.

Skies

 

I often think of that time between May and June,

that time between me and you.

When you made me my very best

and I made myself my very worst.

The Dancers

 

We watch them dance,

swirl, twirl,

and collapse in each others arms.

We sip saccharine sodas

and make polite comments

on the music, food, dancers,

whatever our listless gaze

falls desperately upon.

Closure

 

Say it. Say it so it’s imprinted on the air

between us and isn’t just a question

deep in my entrails.

Exile

 

This exile of my own devising

keeps me submerged.

If I do not say what I know to be true

then maybe it need not be true.

I have become wickedly talented at deceiving myself.

The fear of change, of transforming

into a monstrosity in the eyes of others

silences me.

Tess

 

A Pure Woman, cheated and left. Faithful

to her core. Her chaste promise corrupted.

Rosy of cheek, pure of skin, lips blossomed,

Wessex Eve sent like a lamb to her fate

by kin who professed tender love for her.

Anchor

 

You called me your anchor once.

Stable, secure, unchanging.

I kept you grounded, kept your

head out of those wicked clouds.

But I sensed a tug, saw the

thick rope between us fraying,

actions defying your words.

A Thing Of Beauty

 

I first saw you bound up like a miniature mummy

basking under the gaze of your mother, your eyes

screwed shut, lips slightly pursed.

Your ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes

softly kneading the air, dreaming.

Me, Medusa

 

I wallow and wait

in my desolate cave

awaiting my fate,

beauty’s slave.

Me, Medusa

with hair made of snakes.

Hunger

 

I hunger for a sweet glimpse of you,

a primitive desire to consume you.

To take you, selfishly, ravenously.

I crave your touch, gentle fingertips

on my arched back, hands tangled

in my hair, lips seeking out every

crevice. Every hidden secret nook.

Sleeping Alone

 

I sleep in a desert, empty and expansive,

lying awake I cannot help but relive

those times when on a regular basis

you would transform my sands into an oasis.

Lush green forests would grow

and I would bask in your golden glow

unaware that as quick as the flick of a butterfly wing

your love would become a short, sharp sting.

Heaven Scent

 

They say smell is the most evocative sense,

it dredges up long forgotten memories

and brings them to the fore, intense.

Perfume that wisps by on a passing breeze,

the musky salt of a fishing harbour,

the lush green grass freshly mown,

the warm spice scent of father back from the barber

lightly dusted with cologne.

I cannot force…

 

I can’t force your heart to race

like mine does with a stutter

every time I see your face.

I cannot make butterflies flutter

in your tummy when we embrace

or with every word I utter.

Be Infinite

 

Some days I feel breathless with the sheer

size of it all.

Standing on a precipice but reaching

just short of the edge.

But stars nestled in infinite space

still find a way to burn.

To carve

a blazing lacuna

and caress eternity.

We Still Have The Moon

 

I gaze at the skinny slip of the moon

and take comfort knowing

that this is your moon too.

That miles of journeys can disappear

with a glance.