A Pain In The Ass Limerick

by Joel Kravitz

roids (2)

I saw this poetry contest – https://painpoemprize.com – and I could not resist after I saw the mission statement – The conception and goal of Pain/Poem/Prize is to wed lyrical verse to wit and levity, poetry to playfulness, as a purposeful remedy for the dis-ease of our mortal human condition. Wit and self-effacing humor are a must!
 
That said, I knew I had something that was dead solid perfect for this contest

Unfortunately, I started my vacation with a pain in the ass, literally! Without going into too much detail, let me put it this way, it’s not something that you want to take sitting down, which was not possible for me as I had a three and half hour flight from Houston to San Diego. Needless to say, it required pain meds which were only semi-effective. And I took enough to quell a gunshot wound which made for queasiness which only added to the discomfort. Fortunately, I was able to find an over the counter product that worked along with treatments I found on the web I could do myself. But all of the discomfort and what I had to do to get it behind me led to this, with an assist to a classic Seinfeld bit…

It’s in an area you don’t want to sting
And there’s so much misery a hemorrhoid will bring,
To avoid the grief
And get fast relief,
Shrinkage is a really good thing!

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