The more I long, the more I fade…

by cmapillay


“The last time I felt alive – I was looking into your eyes.
Breathing your air…. touching your skin…
… Saying goodbye….
The last time I felt alive…. I was dying.”

– Ranata Suzuki

Following something that doesn’t exist

Was it a wave that she couldn’t resist

Happiness was a choice and she said never

Cut it open or stitch it back – you will always find it bleeding, because sadness here lasts for ever

Moonlight gushing in through the vent brightening a small part

But the brightness can’t illuminate the darkness that surrounds her heart

Living in a nightmare, more than often she wakes up from sleep

With deep invisible wounds that are more painful than anything that bleeds

She slips into empty spaces between words

She will disappear some day like flying birds

Thy cannot hold her in arms, but do hold her memory in high regard

She will never be in thy life, but she will leave her prints in the heart

Her irreparably broken heart will be broken again

There is no real joy, anyway she wasn’t here for gain

She wants to turn around and tell the world she’s there

But she is moaning in sorrow not knowing whether she will land safely or be scattered everywhere…

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3 Comments to “The more I long, the more I fade…”

  1. glad meeting and reading after a long gap//hope everything is fine

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