Tough Victory

by scatterednotebooks

I’m draggin my feet all the way home
I’m stalked by defeat and I’ll suffer alone.

There’s rain on the window, or’s the rain on my face?
I won’t wait for the answer that’ll prove my disgrace.

Oh, the people around me they say I did well.
In there eyes disappoinment and the struggle to yell.

But I know what they’re feeling. I know only too well,
for I’ve crushed myself into my own private hell.

My body is aching, and my head hangs so low
and shows that I’m feeling every stare like a blow.

But I’m not giving in now, so don’t be afraid.
I’ll just stew from the inside on the mess that I’ve made.

I’m my worst criticizer, so a few people say
and my friend says tomorrow is another day–

It’s a bittersweet recall, but it’s only for me.
To know that I tried hard is my own victory…

© L. Rose (2003)

For work, I occasionally have to take exams to keep up my credentials. I’ve never been a particularly good tester, and this was written after the second time a test kicked my butt (or I kicked my own butt). That was a rough day. I passed on the third try.

As always, I welcome comments and feedback. Thank you for reading!

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8 Comments to “Tough Victory”

  1. Why take tests and life so seriously my dear friend? Before you reply, do go through this link.

    • https ://youtu. be/2J3iD LXe7XY

      (To view the link please remove the spaces I have added. Or look for a you tube video – Alan Watts – Life has no final destination)

      • Sandeep, wow – that is pretty great, and so very true. I did what you suggested, and looked up “Alan Watts – Life has no final destination.” He makes some very good points and observations. It’s true, I once let test failures completely bog me down, but not anymore. I’ve learned a lot since that crappy day. I do still take life pretty durn seriously, but I’m working on it. Thank you for sharing that with me.

      • Glad you considered seeing it brother :). I was too once where you were on that test day. Realized that I turned my life into misery. The will to control is fatalistic. Won’t take you anywhere. Flow with life, it’s totally worth every single moment. Cheers.

  2. Really like your post!! Loved this line – “I’m my worst criticizer, so a few people say
    and my friend says tomorrow is another day–” Such a true statement and something a lot of us do. We do need to be kinder with ourselves. Well done!

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