I Was Once Young

by K. T. Dibert

I say “I’m depressed.”
He replies
“Well, undepress yourself;
Come to the court with the ball and the women.”
I look away listlessly,
Knowing the drugs are gone –
They have fled.
The bottles are sadly empty;
Empty cans riddled
The window sill.
The window pane
Screamed with dusty odium,
As the sun gleamed with antipathy,
The people
With cars sped by
Going nowhere;
Perhaps to heaven
Or perhaps to hell

I am trapped – forsaken –
To the four wall’s shadow
Of shade.

Somewhere morose men
Are getting laid . . .
Across the hall
Someone murmurs “Do you plan
To be here forever?”
I interject,
Sedated by loneliness,
“I hope to hell not!”

I return
To the bed,
The beds of desuetude
And I am

Chained to the earth
In an immemorial

A sullen dead

The sun glints
Through the wistful window
And the birds

Across the hall
They speak quietly,
“I think he has
lost it.”

Alas, I have.
I lost the gift,
The pleasure
Of being alive.

I sat for
Some time
In the
Caliginous air
In fugacious recall

Of when

I was young.
That was a lifetime
And a day ago.

The dream is dead;
I have embittered
The world –

There is a price
To pay.
Haven’t a dollar to give
To anyone;
Haven’t the heart
To feel;
The courage
To go on.

The youth crabbed.

I was once young
And overly hopeful –
Encompassed and wrapped in
The sought after
Lucidity of
Pallid ardency


That was a lifetime
And a
Day ago

I denigrated the earth
And poisoned
The water
Which I live
By with acrimony

Together misery and I
Will live in Holy acrimony
‘Till the days
Grow thin –
‘Till the end
In sordid crassness

I was once young

They sough
In a sotto voce
I reluctantly
Hear them

“I think he’s dead…”
And, I think,
If only it were that easy.


One Comment to “I Was Once Young”

  1. A good reminder of some of the emotions one feels while single, lovely poem!!

If you enjoyed the poem. please leave a comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: