A Couple of Thoughts About Marriage, Common Law or Otherwise Limericks

by Joel Kravitz

I have been involved in a common law marriage and I have a friend who is now in a common law marriage. A license from the state the parties reside in is not the most important requirement for a marriage, legalities notwithstanding. The first requirement is that the two people want to be married to each other and want the world to know that they are married, piece of paper in hand or not.

For me personally, the vow before God is essential. That sanctifies the union and makes it holy. It acknowledges my personal belief that Love is God’s Greatest Gift.

Mimi and I eventually got the piece of paper and took the vows before God. But according to the State of Texas, we were married long before that. They have three conditions that have to be met.

Own property together
Cohabitate for six (6) months – that’s right, 6 months to find out if you can stand each other
Present yourself as a married couple

Of course, it is that willingness to present yourselves as a married couple where there is a lot of gray area. It gives off that “we’re still thinking about it” vibe. Traditional marriage, traditional roles, commitment….that’s a lot to think about. When you’re young, you ain’t thinking anyway. Duh. 50% divorce rate. But when you are older and allegedly wiser, planning for the last part of your life involves doing a little thinking, like it or not. It is better with a partner. A partner in adventure, a partner in the survival game, a warm body next to you on a cold night, someone to tolerate your OCD behavior, laugh at your jokes. These are the things that true intimacy is about.

I was considering my friend’s common law condition and what a good couple they are as they are truly a case of each of them is with the only person in the world who could stand to be with them….. and they know some of the secrets to marriage from prior crash and burns. See below.

A secret to avoiding marital tension,
Oblivious and apathetic prevention.
Don’t pull out your hair,
Better, simply don’t care
And, as a rule, also don’t pay attention!

There are some instances when that is not possible due to the fact that while humans may be the highest form of life on this earth, they are still carnivorous mammals. Bodily functions and close personal relationships will always collide. There is no power on earth more powerful than Mother Nature and she loves a good fart and subsequent awkward moment and possible resulting fart joke.

It’s a moment of truth. It’s when you really have to ask yourself, “Can I stand being with this person for the rest of my life?” And that led to this………

More than whose name’s on a property,
Or the “married couple” the world gets to see;
It’s not the cohabitation.
It’s after her flatulation….
When she points the finger of guilt at me

Our marriage is working just fine.


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