I am sorry if I don’t parade
My shattered sensibilities
Around my neck,
Like a garland of self-pity
For the whole world to see.
I apologise
If I don’t shout in pain
Or cry when I bleed,
It’s not that I am numb
Or profoundly dumb.
If you could see further
Than what meets my eyes
Then you too would know
How there is nothing
Left in me which is
Unscathed.
Though there are scars in abundance,
Tombstones and fathomless despair
Buried deep within me,
They leave no pain,
No tear, or whatever else
Which lies beyond remedy.
And all the wounds
I have gathered to this day
Will be named: FRIENDSHIP
Though their marks
Everlasting,
Bright as a jewel,
I am wiser now
Than ever before.
And may be I can never be
As soft as tofu,
Or demure like a blushing bride,
And that my steel exterior
May seem crude and cold,
The sacred truth is simple,
There is a heart
That beats inside of me.
With every breath,
With each rising passion,
Joyfully,
My heart sings
Finally,
Just for me.
I still believe in the pursuit of life, love and happiness.
I live in H.O.P.E
Note: In Asian culture, it is said that women should be soft like tofu. When she is soft and gentle, men would fight to protect her. However, not all men fight to protect every woman. There are many who are left to fend for themselves. Thus, she has no choice but to become “Steel Tofu”. Women may become hardened like steel on the exterior, but they never stop feeling and dreaming. So, please do not be fooled or turned off by a woman’s hard exterior. She did not arrive at hardness out of her own free will. If we care to see beyond the ‘steel-ness’, we might find her quiet vulnerability quivering in hopefulness. ~ smt