You Won’t Be There

by Emily Page

You won’t be there, I know, but
Anticipation burns.
The thought of maybe seeing you
My aching heart it yearns.

You won’t be there, I know, but
At this Christmas do,
I know my heart will wander from
My loved ones, friends, to you.

You won’t be there, I know, but
I wonder if you’ll bring
The wife? Your kids? If it could be,
My happy heart would sing.

You won’t be there, I know, but
If you are, what then?
My thoughts of what to say to you
Fears of messing up again.

Will you be pleased to see me?
Or would you rather not?
Will there be an awkward silence?
Will we both be on the spot?

Might we talk about the elephant –
The one that’s in the room?
The fact you said “I won’t be free
But will be in touch quite soon.”

These questions they are churning
Really, can I still want to go?
The anticipation kills me –
But you won’t be there. I know.

© Emily Page

4 Comments to “You Won’t Be There”

  1. painfully lovely…I feel your heartache.

  2. Is this about an affair?
    I get that impression.
    Secrets and longing making it a very enticing poem!

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